Just when you thought the Snes Power glove was dead

[wbabt007]

Just when you though putting to rest the Snes power glove was safe, think again enter the Razor Talon. The Talon is the first Exo exoskeleton aimed for gaming.

Here are some of the highlights of this amazing peripheral.

Driver Adjustable Speed

Mock physics and laugh at science with our built in throttle control. Your speed is only limited by the physical rupture point of your bones and tissue.

Calibrate and control your maximum APM speed with our state of the art software. Run anywhere from 500APM onwards. Anything less is way too slow.

Razer PWership Recognition Technology

Hardware ownership is a personal affair. We understand that there is nothing more violating than having a stranger's hand shoved somewhere it doesn't belong.

That's why Razer PWNership Recognition ensures that any unauthorized and unrecognized hands inserted into your Talon will send the unit into lock mode, followed immediately by 50,000 volts of raw sibling frying power. Kick your enemies' asses both online and when you're AFK.

Warning: Extremely effective. Two of our alpha testers were destr... decommissioned after we mixed up the testing units by accident. We'd like to remember and thank them for their services.

Tissue Restoration Massage mode

Gaming with your Talon can be fun, invigorating, and tissue damaging! The Razer Talon can be programmed to knead your hands into gentle submission during gaming intervals, keeping the skin taut and the spirit willing.

Please note that the Issue Restoration Massage Mode is only intended for use on the hands. Exposing the Razer Talon to other bodily areas, while tempting, may result in excessive strain of and potential loss of said area.

Razer Snake Oil Hyperresponse Lubricant

* Use of Razer Talon without proper application of Razer Snake Oil Hyperesponse Lubricant may result in product failure/catastrophic fire.

* Do not attempt to stroke, pat, or interact with any pets/younger siblings while the Razer Talon is in use. Doing so may result in damage/cataclysmic destruction of intended affection recipient.

* If Razer Talon begins to behave erratically, move on its own, or become self-aware, unplug unit and barricade yourself/loved ones within a safe location and contact Razer Support. An armed team of product specialists will be dispatched to your location to dispose of and RMA your affected unit.

* Do not attempt to rub, scratch, or interface with any part of your body while using the Razer Talon, as this may result in unit damage/horrific loss of valued limb(s).

* Use of the Optional On-Board Razer Venom Delivery System without proper medical screening may result in arrhythmic heartbeats, future sight, imagined powers, rapid appendage growth, erratic limb spasms, corrosive bowl movements, lupus, and/or projectile ocular bleeding.

* Do not fight/resist the A.T.A.P.M.A / Automated Intelligent On-The-Fly Movement feature as this may be interpreted as a sign of aggression against your Razer Talon, resulting in an angered/maliciously vengeful unit.

And they say Razer has no sense of humor, this is probably one of the best april fools day product I seen in a long time. Feel the need to post here so we bask in the glory of the Razer Talon.

[Jimbo]

LOL

Yeah, that was brilliant.

[StamatisX]

Exposing the Razer Talon to other bodily areas, while tempting, may result in excessive strain of and potential loss of said area.

LMAO,even though they would provide the lubricant...

[mw86]

This is the best one I've seen to date lol!